The Swing-Inn.

I have trouble allowing myself to be comfortable, to be okay, slow and patient. My whole body is anxious all the time. My mind is jittery.

I can be the whore.
The mother
The comforter
The girlfriend
The slave

I don't know which one I want.

I have something very good right now. He's kind, all brawn no intellectual brain, smart as hell for things that require "feel", which means he's brilliant at his job. He loves cars and owns the best of both worlds, heavy loud luxury cruising muscle and a 7" jacked up 4wd.

He's showing me things. Nice things that aren't tied to stress and anxiety. He's calming.

So I went and saw him Friday night after work to help with his iPhone and didn't leave until 12pm Monday. For someone who I KNEW was playing me, this is interesting as hell. But I've thought about it.. when you act like a whore, you get treated like one.

#1) coming over, staying the night and leaving afterwards is whorish.

"she's a nice girl but just a friend and a fuck I want _______ anyway."

#2) coming over, talking, cuddles, giggles, staying the night, spending the next day together, and doing it all over again isn't.

(to the other girl) "i'm kind of seeing someone but I'd still like to be friends."

So, better results.